Benches

This bench makes no sense

The bench in the picture above makes no sense. It's near where I live. It doesn't overlook anything, all you can look at are the cars parked on the opposite side of the road, it's not near a park, it's not a busy street, it's not on the way to anywhere where you would need to sit down and rest. It could be an historical relic, an archaeological echo from a bygone era, a time when Victorian and Edwardian men courted and went out for a stroll after tiffin, but I don't know, maybe it never made sense, its location a mystery. Nowadays it seems to be a place to go if you have an ordinate amount of rubbish you need to dispose of pronto or if you have a hankering to drink super strong lager in a public space.

There appear to be three types of benches. The obvious ones in big city parks, where office workers and tourists hangout and eat lunch, and the ones next to playgrounds where parents need to sit down and watch their kids with a hawk eye. Then there are the ones which overlook a view, a nice spot in a park, the type of bench that has a plaque on it, dedicated to someone because they loved this view. Then there are the benches that make no sense. How do they come into being? I imagine there is a special department of benches in councils. Once a bench is there, does it always stay? Like the ones that are now on busy main roads, no one is ever going to take a seat and contemplate the world with four lanes of traffic going by, but once a upon a time it could of been a quiet road with the occasional horse and carriage.

And new benches, like the ones in the photo below. Who decides? These benches also make no sense, overlooking a quiet side road, and notice the benches facing away from the football pitch, so you don't look at the action, you look away. And its empty. In the middle of the day, in the middle of London, less than a mile away thousands of people are in movement, millions trying to find a seat on a train, or in a cafe or in a busy park; but here, empty.

Empty benches looking away

A bench is one of the few places you are allowed to do nothing in a public place and no one will question you. Hang out on the street corner, just stand there and before long the police will come along and ask what you are doing. Sit down on a bench and you are fine. The only public seating not dedicated to any particular activity, not like public transport where you are going somewhere, not a theatre or cinema or coffee shop. Before the rise of the coffee shop there was no where to go and do nothing and sit alone without arousing suspicion. The coffee shop has probably killed the bench, its warm, and as long as you buy one drink you can sit as long as you want, and there's free wifi too, to help distract you.

Urban bench, less than a mile away thousands of people can't get a seat

The urban non scenic bench becomes a refuge for the underclass only. There is no tradition of hanging out on corners in this country, unlike say the USA, there are no corner boys or people sitting on the stoop drinking. The bench to the rescue. Kids and alcoholics, a way of not going home and just hanging out without having to justify it. 'Of course, I can sit here as long as I want, the council put a bench here, its allowed.' But this isn't the Mediterranean, there is no tradition of hanging outside because its too cold. So all in all you must be pretty desperate to have to walk to a bench to hang out and drink 3 litres of white lightning; either you don't want anyone at home to know, where you live is so terrible that the bench is the better option or you have no home.

Or is the bench the last refuge of the person who just wants to sit and take a breath. You don't have to pretend to be doing anything, no gogglebox to stare at, no small talk needed. And as long as it looks like you are admiring the view no one will question you. You might get unlucky and someone sits next to you and wants to have conversation; in a big tourist park this could happen; in an urban area sitting on a bench who's location makes no sense this is less likely.

But the days of the non scenic bench are probably numbered; urban relics. Firstly, they are never comfortable, and secondly we will live in a society where doing nothing is considered strange. Play with your phone, pretend to send an email, eat a sandwich, it doesn't matter - just look busy, look like you are in a hurry. Personally I prefer to sit in coffee shops.